Last night I watched "White Christmas" for the first time...yes, I know,I am a cultural illiterate...well anyway. One scene in the film was the best presentation of how a person's previous experiences will affect how they interpret subsequent communications. Simply put, gossip had affected how the female lead opposite Bing Crosby interpreted, or rather misinterpreted his motivations and words about the benefit they were getting ready to present. That misinterpretation pretty well set up a comedic tension for a significant part of the film.

That may work in Hollywood, but it can be a heartbreak in real life. We interpret the words of others based on our experiences, not on their meaning. A news story on the radio, an argument with a spouse, friend, or child, or a book recently read all build in to the filters through which we pass all new info or messages. Well, that means that a person's response is not always going to fit with our expectations. When this happens it is better to check on the message received rather than get mad or defensive. There are honest misunderstandings that are not due to the mental incompetence of the erring party or insensitivity or anything else that we might want to attribute it to. Sometimes we we really just didn't understand what was said or what was understood. This is not simply a difference in gender either. Not only are women from Venus and men from Mars, women are not always from the same corner of Venus and the same is true for men. Each individual has his or her own experiences that will determine how they interpret the messages received and will determine the actions expressed in response. It is very often not so much that the other person is wrong, it's just that something got lost in the translation.

Well, this is the first attempt at blogging. I hope it will be successful. In general, I will talk about interpersonal communications issues and reflections that may be of help to some readers. At present, I really have nothing to say, so, Lesson #1 When you don't have something to say, don't try desperately to fill the space, instead, be quiet and listen. Maybe it's your time to learn.